don’t stop believing..

First, thank me for making you sing this fantastic 80’s song inside your head for the rest of the day. In a high pitched nasal voice that too…dont stop believing.

Second, appluad me for posting this week too. Last week showed I definately still have atleast 1 reader. If you believe you are a reader, please show yourself now (no robots please).

Third, getting down to the post. So I am not a religious person, I don’t have faith or much paitence or trust that the lord will provide. I believe I am the master of my destiny, which makes me an internal locus of control type of person. (Techincal term, go with it for now) So Being this very internal action oriented person, I find I get very stressed out by events in my life. Specially things that are not in my control. For example, I can only apply for jobs, if they select me is an issue dependent on our match, my luck, the internal politiking etc etc. Yet it stresses me out. I am a worrier and I worry all the time. I worry about this whole job thing, and other random things all the time. Would’nt it be better then to acknowledge that is something else that governs it? Would it be easier than saying “sucky luck”? Would it be easier to shake a fist at god, and say dammit, when do i get repaid for dealing with 10 roommates in 51/2 years? Because when I think, my luck sucks, I am still thinking about myself, still blaming myself and still saying I suck. And this has got to stop. How much blame and suckiness can I carry around, blaming myself for every event and every rejection letter? What do you think? Who do you blame life’s sucky parts on ? mom and dad? the mastaaar? The stupid cat that is in yor head and usually crosses the road before you? Maybe I’ll find something.

I know , its all for the best, things turn out ok after all. Things baseline after a while. But right now, I am looking for the person reposnible for sleepless nights. And I hate sleepless nights, they suck.

Fourthly, guess whats the word of the day from this post.

Fifth, ok back to work, bye.

Sixth: next post: food /running I promise!

Another year, another fresh start, or is it?

The year, folk(s), hasnt begun very well. I have been a lazy and rather moany bum. Havent been doing enough of anything. But every year needs a recap and whats a blog without a recap? Well, this one is going to be without one to suitably express the sorry state of my blogging. Also, if so interested, the amazing moments of my life in 2009 are but a couple of scroll motions away. Be my guests!

What I am more interested in is this newly whitewashed, cleaned up year that I have just been presented with. Am sure you got it too. 2010. Nicely balanced digits, sum to my favorite number 3 and bear a certian weight and gravity? Or is that just because I feel this will be a momentous year for me? The year that will decide which path through the woods I will take. One that will lead me to an urban jungle, and the second I know not. There will be many such paths in the future, I know, but this is a big one. A big change, that has me waiting with baited breath. I have much work to do, less time to do it in, however, a certain part of me wants to listen to the coming of the change and moan under the covers. But it will come and I will have to make that transition from a student to the real world. I cannot hide anymore and niether do I want to hide. I want to shout, bring it on world, but then think of the level of hubris that would indicate and instead just whisper it to myself in my head.

Also, another momentous change, about to be brought to a computer screen near you is the fact that I really want to blog this year. I want to blog atleast once a week, every week and the content shall change a little bit too. So instead of writing just about my thoughts (since there’s so few of them). I will write about my workou knowledge and my food knowledge as well. Not all the time but sometimes. I do cook pretty well too you know. Mostly experimental and in my own fashion, but I do. So some days if I offer it up to you, would you say yes? If you do exist that is! I think i’ve probably driven any preexisting readers of this blog away, but hey, come back and bring your friends, we gonna partaaay in 2010, the momentous year with much balance and weight.