Muses of moment

 I have a major shoe obsession! Those who know me probably already know that about me. If you are ever in a store with me and lose me, best way to find me is to find the shoe section…follow line of drool and voila there I would be. You would assume then that I spend a lot of money on shoes and have a billion pairs, but not really, no I don’t. That is only because of two things. One is that its hard to find very sexy shoes in my size and two I refuse to wear uncomfortable shoes. The uncomfortable thing comes into play very often considering I have weird feet. But not wearing them is from ages ago and a wedding. I was in Mumbai and had the cutest pair of shoes..they were brownish reddish and also had  heel and were also very tight. I must have been about 10 or 12 years old I think. The shoes were so tight, they had to be worn with a plastic wrap over foot so that I could slide into them..yet I loved these shoes. Unfortunately, I was in Bombay with mama..who likes to walk..and I wore these shoes out with him to buy books. It was a long long walk including several locals. I reached a point where my feet hurt so much that I ALMOST sat down and cried. I never had the guts to do that again. Therefore comfortable shoes it is. But I like sexy shoes tooo..comfortable and sexy..almost an oxymoron! Hence I am usually drooling and rejecting!

The question is why do I like shoes so much.. I have given this deep thought…I think it is because shoes make or break an outfit…the perfect shoes pull it together effectively. And more deeply I tink it is because it is one body part that I cannot change and have to accept the way it is. It is a part of me that hasnt changed much and is unlikely to change over the course of time. I am still wearing the same shoes I was 40 pounds ago. It is a part of me that I have to accept, I can whinge all I want about the shape of my foot..wide in front and narrow at the back and super small, but I cannot pinch the wide part and say this has to go. I have to respect what years of dance have made my foot. I cannot jiggle it or frown at it in the bath and say yuck (not that i say that for any body part), having to accept it the way it is, means I look more for things that fit it and dont really watch sizes..ohh this shoe is a 6 and it fits me instead of the 5 1/2, and oooh this is comfy..who cares if it is meant for 12 year olds? 

Why can’t I be like that about clothes…umm this jeans is tight..but I’d be damned if I go a size up. I completely refuse to buy jeans in India..sizes dont make any sense at all. The more acceptance we have of our body and the way it looks,however transient or permanent that look might be, once we are confident in our skin (its the only one we got), only then can we truly begin the work of changing it or loving it. Now-a-days, I dont buy shoes that need plastic wrap, I buy the ones that fit and feel like I can walk a mile (or atleast till the first shoe bite shows up). I look at my feet with pride, they have supported me through thick, through dancing, running and definately through the plastic episode and I treat them with the care they deserve. Wish I could say the same about the body.