burn baby burn

This is another of those maudlin, rambly posts. hence forewarned, I will move on now. These long runs of mine, you know over the weekend? I am the slowest runner on the planet..seriously even walkers can walk past me, even then I feel strong, I feel good, I feel tired, I feel emptied of all that has been bothering me, I feel powerful. Its very Marquis de Sade, this enjoyment of pain, it hurts, but it feels so good, its a good kind of pain, it tells me, yes this is your 7th mile and no you are not done yet. It all makes me feel all the various muscles I never really knew existed, burning quads somehow make me feel strong. Running also makes me very philosophical. I live in Kansas, which is technically flat..remember..land of oz? But my little apple has hills and I dont know why I choose to run over them on a regular basis when i can choose flater and greener pastures, but back to philosophy, when panting up the hill, it often occurs to me (With great joy) that once uphill, means downhill too, and downhill makes me gloomy, by the same principle. But isnt that life, what must go up must come down, you need the highs and the lows because if they werent there you wouldnt know the stuff you were made of. When i started running, running without music seemed impossible, i needed music to set the pace, to take my mind off, these days on my long runs, my podcast finishes after an hour and sometimes I dont notice the lack of music, I even ran without music one day. I have definately become more appriciative of my body and all that it can do. Not much, to be frank, but still I can do what I want..mostly.

Ode to running is now over, other random musing begins here. I miss home, unusual for me to miss anyplace, but suddenly I am missing home so much, I need India’s rain, its madness, its confusion and its happiness. Here, I have begun to take things too seriously, hold myself to wrng standards. Have you noticed…Indians laugh so easily..we find the funny in everything..even spiderman 3 (Shudders). Very often in a movie theatre I find myself to be the only person laughing at the trailers, while the americans around me just blankly look at the screen. That in itself is rather funny.

I find myself in a maudlin mood today, thinking about my ex-boyfriends and funnily enough listening to the songs I have long associated with them. Certain songs can take me back to that exact moment, that crazy time. Why, you wonder, well even if you dont I would still tell you 😀 right? I dont really know, but it is because its now summer, summer is the time for lazy weekdays and even lazier weekends. Summer is meant to spend huge amounts of time with other people, alas, none of who I have. Friends have gone home or are working out of town. But there are time, when you really really wonder, is this all worth it? Should I just throw in the towel and find a random man? Or should I just be the turtle I am? Slow runner and slow at picking up whats right in front of me? Any answers?


another tag!

ok, so I ahve been missing again..yawn..so whats new about that? nothing much just oodles of work and basically avoiding work whih makes me turn my system off and get some sunshine..so here I decided to steal another tag from chandni..she does the coolest tags i tell ya!..so here for the grace of god..I go again!

1. Pick out a scar you have, and explain how you got it.
I got lucky here..i actually have a grand total of one scar, thanks to my over-careful and rather cautious nature! This one scra is because of me falling off the bike due to a headon accident with a ricksha, not that I know how it happened..i was zooming down the bridge and wham I was looking down at the nala..not very appetizing..result: stitches on hand..done by mommy dearest.

2. What is on the walls in your room?

pieces of my life (when  i had one), i treat walls like scrapbooks..you get the picture..photographs, postcards, bills, calenders….somedays they are overwhelming and somedays another distraction from the studying

3. What does your phone look like?
didnt I tell you I lost my phone? salt in wound thing? eh, anyways..I will survive..its an old samsung which has the most smashing ring tone which is really loud, so I hear it too instead of people telling me…your phone is ringing and me going..huh?

4. What music do you listen to?
You name it, currenly am obsessed with “Five for Fighting” specially the track “100 years”..it rocks!

What is your current desktop picture?
it changes every half hour..sorry..but mostly flowers and beaches and mountains and lakes and deserts and dogs….

6. What do you want more than anything right now?
seriously..dont laugh…ok stop laughing…fine..I want my thesis signed and bound in my hands along with a job ofcourse whilst wearing a slinky dress..too much? uh then just the thesis..too much again? how about a vacation? ok, ok, stop laughing

7. Do you believe in gay marriage?

sure ..I agree with chandni..if they want it, they can have it, with my blessings.

8. What time were you born? 
no clue as to the time my mom found me at the khumb ka mela.which where they say they brought me for 10 bucks…and that it was a steep price to pay :D..

9. Are your parents still together?
totally..lesser than they would like, but yes.

10. What are you listening to?
can i be pretentious? no? ok..then the radio ..sunny 102.5 ..nice mix of songs

11. Do you get scared of the dark?
nope..me no scared…

12. The last person to make you cry?
my advisor..khoon ke aansoo hai ye 😀

13. What is your favorite perfume/cologne?
anything musky..NO florals..currenly ..santana by carlos santana

14. What kind of hair/eye colour do you like on the opposite sex?
hair: whatever looks good on the man, for example long hair if it looks hot rather than like a mop that was used once too often. eyes: dark and deep.

15. Do you like pain killers?
nope..i like to moan and groan so that everyone knows i ran 7miles yesterday

16. Are you too shy to ask someone out?
nope..but am beginning to think i should be..act the shy female you know..

17. Favorite pizza topping?
cheddar, fontina , suasage, chicken tikka, paneer,,uh hold the veggies please

18. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be?
a aloo ki kachori with chutney and pyaaz, or some gobhi ke bhajiye, or some moong ke bhajiye or some good pasta..i mean really well made pasta

19. Who was the last person you made mad?
probably some student who i failed or wrote on his/her paper the following words “vague, needs a conclusion”

20. Is anyone in love with you?
whitney houston says in her work on love “how do i know if he really loves me” Whitney(2000). Answer to query : I dont know..and nevr know if anyone is hitting on me untill three days or months or years after they gave up when it suddenly occurs to me and i go..ohh..dang…why dont i ever GET it? the lesson bieng if you were/are/will be in love with me please hit me on the head with it or i wont get it and live in my world of self imposed misery.

thats it for now folks, i plan to return tomorrow and regale you with stories from my 6 mile weekend run which is bound to have interesting moments. Confession : i spend most my run imagining how I will blog about it and promptly forget it as soon as I finish.ciao for now..be good and all that..