musing

Its been a while since I posted. I have been busy and I have been upset and I have been happy but I havent been posting. There are so many things I wanted to say, but no way to say it. Very many times, I formed half baked ideas, only to reject them, very often I put away events to blog about, yet forgot them when it came to it. So today I will do snippets, I like snippets, they are like my own thought process..short, choppy, with no sense of direction, skipping where ever the mood takes them.

1. Warm days are here again, the sun feels too hot already, how can we go from shivering to waiting for a cool breeze in one whole day? But I like summer, the heat doesnt kill me, it saps me, like everyone else, but the calm of a summer afternoon is different from anything else we ever experience in our lives.  It brings back memories of languid summers in India, locked up inside the house, waiting for evening to go out and play, guzzling nimbu paani roohafza and inhaling mangoes.  Here in Kansas summer feel smooth and green, the smell of grass predominates at the moment, again a fountain of memories.

2. Im still looking for a summer job. You know what I hate the most? Waiting, the waiting for answers, a yes or a no. Say it. Just say it. Just move on, just dont leave me hanging there, waiting for your reply.

3. My thesis is still trailing along, it is still waiting to get done, and this time I cant really be blamed, the blame lies elsewhere and strengthens my resolve that life needs changes, lots of changes.

4. I am still losing weight, not to worry that is still on plan.

5. I love my friends, I am ever grateful to them for their understanding and their acceptance of my craziness. Their acceptance of my crazy diets, their refusal to take anything seriously and making fun of everything. Their ability to support me when I need it the most and for the first time, my ability to accept what they have to give. My ability, after a very long time, to just pick up a phone and call  and know that there wont be any “disturbances”, and even if there are, the understanding of my needs and wants, people to spend time with without any guilt, without any concrete plans, just to be. Friends, some of them from different walks of life and some of them dont even know each other. Friends, together and one on one. Long conversations and crazy antics. The boon of friendship and companionship, people who share my joys. I may speak too soon, but I dont care, this has to be documented for posterity. Friends, I am nothing without you and everything with you. Be there the way you are and I will do my best for you. You make me want to go on. As usual you are the focus in my life, a lighthouse for my wandering ship, unable to show me the right way but atleast keeping me from danger.

6. I lost my cellphone, this is very annoying specially because I barely ever lose something, nothing important atleast! not for a long time. Hopefuly the gods will be satisfied with this one sacrifice of the phone and life will come back on the track? please pretty please? As a side story, I emailed everyone on my list taht I lost my phone, so can they please send me their phone numbers, the result? Only certain people sent me their numbers..indicating that the others are either not checking their email, they are procrastinatng and gasp too lazy, OR worst of all, they dont care. Eh, well, atleast I cleaned out my phonebook. 😀 one less person to not call.

7. nothing…just be good 😀

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3 Comments

  1. hmmmmmmmmmmmm

    random thoughts of a demented mind 😀

  2. this just made me homesick..there is nothing like an indian summer and the crazy monsoon that follows. somehow i have never wanted to get wet in the rain anywhere else… playing in the mud and then sitting and chatting over chai and bhajiye
    ….
    any tips for losing weight? trying to run but give up every time even a little stamina builds up..sigh..i prefer how some people get all their exercise done with shavasan 😀

  3. Hmmm…just came back from the cold winter-like days of UK back to the heat and sweat of Bbay….and the cold is definitely better!!! But I guess thats just wanting what we cant have 🙂


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