matters of the heart

Every year, I write the same post, in different ways. It is that time of the year, when I cringe going to the mall, walmart and even school, because I am innundated by the sights that valetine’s day brings.  It makes me wish for soft romantic things which makes me feel that I am losing my touch. SInce the ever wanted man hasnt been found yet, my only hope is to grin and bear it and not get tempted by all that chocolate. Which is hard all by itself, val day or no val day. This year I am exceptionally sad because I will be going to watch “Man of La Mancha” , and it struck me that even though I always watch concerts alone, this time people will look at me with exceptional pity considering that its on val day and will be filled with couples.

Its not like I havent liked or been liked in return, but for the past few days my friend’s words are coming back to me again and again, loving or liking isnt e nough, you have got to want to make it work. The working part hasnt happened yet. They are all dysfunctional, maybe like me? Liking people not available is the game I play, liking me is a game of timepass they play. If not that it is somethng else, like an ex, or a lover stowed in another city, emotional baggage, lack of baggage and the fear of attaining some.

Maybe as I have aged..yes I feel old, I have accumalated a desperatenss, a I dont care belligerence, even a rigid idea of a mate.  It would be too much to ask for any poor guy to break through all of this, considering I am no beauty either, so no pipe dreams sweety!

Some say, it will happen, but the existence of a future to come doesnt make avoidance of chocolate any easier. Even bieng surrounded by bueatiful women, at whose feet men fall, or not so beautiful at whose feet men still fall, I find myself becoming more and more the watcher, the observer, the listener, the carer the giver, never the reciever.

Bleak post I know, wait till the 14th passes and I promise I will be nuts yet again, till then I leave you with this:

To My Valentine

Ogden Nash

More than a catbird hates a cat,
Or a criminal hates a clue,
Or the Axis hates the United States,
That’s how much I love you.

I love you more than a duck can swim,
And more than a grapefruit squirts,
I love you more than a gin rummy is a bore,
And more than a toothache hurts.

As a shipwrecked sailor hates the sea,
Or a juggler hates a shove,
As a hostess detests unexpected guests,
That’s how much you I love.

I love you more than a wasp can sting,
And more than the subway jerks,
I love you as much as a beggar needs a crutch,
And more than a hangnail irks.

I swear to you by the stars above,
And below, if such there be,
As the High Court loathes perjurious oathes,
That’s how you’re love by me.

Alas..still wanted, a man who would understand that and want to make it work!



  1. Tell me about the depressing malls!

  2. hahahaha…what a nerd…AMOS made it to your list! hahaha. But I can totally understand why you would like it more than LISREL. hahaha

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