wanted: hopefully alive

here’s the deal. My mom has declared that she is never going to participate in the search of an eligible man for me, which leaves me to my own devices. Because of the lack of my serious long term relationships (relationships that use the “L” word and are more than 2 years are considered serious and long term) things have come to a grave point. I am a good Indian girl, I must find a good male (Indian is not necessary) so what do we do?

shal we advertise in the newspaper thus:

WANTED: tall dark handsome groom who can workout, read, write and cook,for bright girl earning in dollars in the US?

quite a role reversal eh? I have a strong feeling that this will not attract many men who are possibly a better idea, because even if they can read and write, it doesn’t mean they can read..if you read between the lines, so to pun

So what to do next? How to find “the man”. I have been told by friends (All of them male) that I am not a girl, and should stay the way I am because thats the way they like me. When queried under pain of a chokeΒ hold, they reveal that the previous action wasnt very girl like..uh..umm..ok..we shall hide that from our prospective suitors. WHat next, no stronghold required scared enough already. Well you dont even drive like a girl, we feel safe when you are going at a speed of 80 miles an hour in your cool two door sportscar. hmm..well I am not abandoning my car driving skills for any man. What else, well you dont get sentimental, but I do I do, here I am wailing about the lack of men..only a sentimental femme would do that right right RIGHT?

Now what, the female wiles, as it turns out I lack, inspite of long hair, cute face (if I say so myself) and latke jhatke..ab kya kare?

No choices really, I implore the reading public to send me their resume etc and I promise not to practice any choke holds on them..required criteria are:

-male (unbreakable)

-works out–optimal

-reads fiction-perfect

-cooks well–needed, but cooks healthily too

-can hold up one end of a conversation- hoped for

-patience-with choke-holds

-undying devotion–oh well while wishing for so many impossible things why not?

there you go, please let me know if you think you or somebody else is eligible for this post and we shall send battalion to look and analyse you to bits. If that works, the choke-hold will be used and then ahem the car driving skills and lastly a conversation..if you survive..i’d probably die of the shock πŸ˜€

ps: one year of my blog..yay…next post continuation of my favorite things from post 1

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19 Comments

  1. Congratulations! and good luck with the resumes

  2. Hi there Big D, check this out.

    http://pinakin.sukthankar.googlepages.com/interestinglinks

  3. ROFL!!!

    err..if u find one..pass it on! πŸ˜‰

  4. @chandni: ask not for things that do not exist..unless you have a designer android in mind?

  5. Someone is taking charge, someone wishes good luck to someone for something

  6. @someone: somebody appriciates someone’s visit and comment πŸ˜‰

  7. The other someone also wishes good luck!

  8. @ the other someone: who is this particular someone? somebody is confused πŸ˜€

  9. If someone remembers someone, there were two someones talking to someone at some party.

  10. @ the other someone: i assume this somebody is president? πŸ˜€

  11. Everyone who is someone is/was a president of something, or else, that someone is no one.. you dig?

  12. So D, you have taken it upon your heart to find a suitable Suitor (was that repetition? Nebvertheless…). Carry on with your quest, and let me know if you find someone.

    And by the way, you might crib for the dearth of a male lover – but you are STILL NOT A GIRL!

  13. @ the other someone: ugh..stop, fine, you can be whoever you want to be
    @mad dog: thanks for the vote of confidence

  14. anyone apply yet? I’m tall 5 10 dark, handsome? well I’m no Clark Gable or Amitabh Bachchan – but I’ve been told I do look like some local movie personalities.

    Cook, of course been cooking since I was a kid. And my dads a health freak so veggies are a staple in every meal.

    Love reading fantasy books, but lately not getting enough time to read. Last book I read was The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck and lately skimming up on Learning Chinese for Dummies.

    Work out? Used to – but I stopped but now I’m getting back into shape. Im not obese though, just not ripped.. :-p

    πŸ™‚

  15. hah
    my first victim..no applications yet
    you are the first one…
    so what about the driving and crazy greagrious women?

  16. ha ha..have never enjoyed any piece of writing as much as i’ve enjoyed this one!!
    did’nt want it to end!! πŸ™‚

  17. re: “so what about the driving and crazy greagrious women?”

    LOL! – I think they go hand in hand… crazy woman and crazy driving.

    If you do drive fast, just make sure you drive safely. You wouldn’t want to miss out on meeting the “one” me or someone else. I drive fast but safe & respect those who are in the car with me.

    Whats wrong with driving fast? Its a thrill, just make sure you know your limit.

    As for being “greagrious” – is that something new? Never heard of it. So many people get that spelling mistake. Hey, I can put up my end… I can read and write for you… hahaha.

    What’s wrong with being sociable, friendly, extroverted? Unless you live in Afghanistan? πŸ˜€

    So, do I pass? :-p

  18. @ great expectations: I never took any garauntee over the spellungs..
    fine fine, you win..so you can now be labeled exhibit one and please addrreess future correspondence to email of moi truly. I have no expectations great or otherwise. πŸ˜‰

  19. Exhibit one would like to know how to correspond with you.

    Can’t seem to find your email address here. You can send an email to me at greatexpectationsoflife@gmail.com


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