the skinny on being skinny

not to worry, am not skinny, never will be either, body shape doesnt dictate it. I lost some 30 pounds though. This is a bit hard for me to talk about , just like everything else, but this is also important to me.

What is bugging me now is the changing attitudes. Suddenly all the guys who never looked at me twice are inviting me for parties, I get all those lingering glances and the shy smiles and leers too. I love it, I love it all. Always an attention basker, I’m just soaking this up big time.

ahem..you say..then the bugging part..ohh well its just that they didnt see me before? I havent changed, my personality hasnt changed. I’m still the maniac depressive that I always was, the mood swinger xtreme, or uber moodier (trying to use the “in”words)Didn’t you see me then, shyly standing in one corner or maniacally dancing, you didnt compliment me on my dance skills then did you?

Did you see me when you were telling me all your troubles and wanting and hoping that I will introduce you to my hot friends. Its the old fairy tale story. I have no prince. He never rescued me, I rescued myself.

What this entire process has left behind is a faint resentment for people whose attitudes have changed and a suspicion of newer people in my life. Do they even see me for who I am or is it the body that I am still not used to seeing in my mind’s eye

And course my friends, those who have been there when I wasnt this flirty hot babe with long hair (umm yes that is an exaggeration) and other lesser mortals who have fallen for me even in those times,to you I owe my belief in myself as a “person” and ofcourse the abysmal asses who wanted to sleep with me and yet didnt want to be seen with me. You were special too, because at-least you made me believe in myself, in the SA that I now flaunt, the power that I now wield (none too wisely or well, am afraid).

I have changed inside and outside, the outside for the better healthier me, the inside has a strength of willpower I never believed I possessed, and also a sadness at the loss of innocence, of believing in a prince charming who will see though everything. They are fairy tales. Princes see only blond princesses decked in finery. Are we all really that taken in by the “packaging”? as my dear friend would put it. You will probably say ofcourse not, and I will probably want to believe you, hopeless romantic, maniac depressive that I am.

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11 Comments

  1. whoa! 30 lbs is awesome, badhai ho. No I don’t mean badhai-ho-now-you-get-all-the-looks, but badhai-ho-its-very-inspiring types 🙂

  2. well even cindrella needed all the finery including a gross pumpkin to catch the prince…. so its the same old story.
    The damn price wouldnt have looked at the cindrella at the cinders
    so never mind u are still u ..
    keep up the sa

  3. I think it will take a lot more evolution before we can let personality override a primal instinct to pick the healthiest, best looking specimen of the opposite sex.
    It helps if the prince you mention is in good shape too, doesn’t it? 😉

  4. @ diwaker: thanku boss..im loving it
    @yeshu: true very true, unfortunately it doesnt make me feel less bitter
    @deppe: I eat humble pie :D..

  5. hey… congratulation on losning weight. u r my inspiration!

    good looks… if i oil my hair, i am a behenji. if i leave them open, i am a diff person? no i am not. i really do not understand it!

  6. awesome!!!!

    and hey…keep the bitterness away..its time to enjoy it 😉

  7. like guys when they finally pass the uneven stretch that is puberty. suddenly everyone looks at us as though we are human again. very suspicious.

  8. Interesting!!!

    The mists rise over
    The waters at Asuka;
    Memory does not
    Pass away so easily.

    — Yamabe no Akahito

  9. Its good that you like your new shoes. But this bitterness is better!

  10. Hi babe!
    I went through this in reverse—- When I had a sexy figure with long hair to fat and losing hair, so I had to cut it. And I watched attitues change. So the biterness it COMPLETELY justified.

    You were a more fun person when you weren’t counting calories and our conversations revolved around life and books. But you’re someone who thrives on others and that’s a side I’ve seen coming alive again so I’m happy. The ones who only want the SkinnyDisha(TM) are losing out.

    Fat or thin, I’ll always love you. Because you’re the childhood friend I never had. And I miss you. *hugs* Take care,
    Riju

    Ps- sunscreen, child… always use sunscreen.

  11. ohhh.. i’d say u’r person enough… i’d go as far as to say that u’r MAN enough….. lol..

    comfortably insanse… is the way life shd be….

    P.S: Need HELP! point out some good books to read please! right now i dont have the energy or the resources to read up on an authtor and then read his wrk…


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