its been a while

umm its been awhile..
can i claim work as an excuse?
I know, not a very good one.
The truth was, didnt really feel like saying anything, but today I did, so here is my speil
Missed the shuttle to the rec, so was browsing the college bookstore, found a travel book, a hefty traveller’s guide to “India”, got a sudden jolt of curosity to see what they have to say about India, flipped through it to come across “indore” my home. The words “sarvate bus stand” “chotti gwaltoli” and chappan and sarafa jumped out at me and suddenly brought back smells and memories extraordinaire of the one place I can truly call home. Walking through chappan avoiding the calls of “madam, bhelpuri? paani poori? …or trying to drive down the tiny road between apollo and chappan. or eating johhny hot dog “banjo” behind the sabzi thela with maa..icecream in the rain in front of IICHE..long walks with a boyfriend now gone from thoughts, even gurukripa, late night!
shopping with mithu sakshi for shos their mother wouldnt buy them, going out with gautam to see how indore has changed, driving down for the last time from dami’s to home, the road blurred by the tears coming fast and thick.
Do I miss it? NO i dont
Do I want to go back?
Not particularly..
then why does it wrench my heart when I hear these names? when I think of these memories their smells and the wind comes out to touch me, the people rise up like ghosts. Pune isnt like that for me, niethr bangalore, maybe manhattan will be who knows
but Indore is Indore, it is where I have belonged, where I can claim my roots, where I can still go back after 7 years and run into school classmates and marvel over what fatheads they have become. …
Indore is magical for me, it has mythical propotions in my mind. It is where I suddenly expect that all my worries will melt away and that “everything is gonna be alright”. Ofcourse that never happens, but it is the most special place for me. Finally come what may, it is home, it is where I belong
A couple of things come to is AR rehman’s “yeh jo des hai tera”
one particular incidence comes to mind, we were all driving somehwere when I played this song, everyone just shut up, and just listened, you have heard it a billion times, yet still something from that song comes out to touch you to the very core, suddenly making you realize that there is a home, somehwere you mighht not have been happier, but just home.
another thing that comes to mind, is a very obliques reference from the win rd in the willows.
When the mole and the rat are coming back from the woods, the mole suddenly smells his home and then instantaneouly gets upset when the rat doesnt stop. and then when the rat understands they go back to the mole’s old home and the mole says” its isnt much” but I had some good times here”
and later when they are going back the mole takes a look and knows he cannot live there but he needs to come back once in a while just for a while, for however long he lives above the ground, his home is always below the ground with the welcome mat outside his door.
I guess the refernce is not that oblique, so I will not degrade it further (its already paraphrased from when I reread this book about 3 years ago)



  1. Hi Black Sheep, I am a fellow Indorean…And I know exactly how you feel about the song…Felt the same way myself, even though I am still in India…

  2. Ha ha…Yup…Gujarat is a dry state…But you can’t prove I was there…You got nothing on me…:D–>

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