the word bibliophile means a lover of books. I think i am beyond that , it is more of a bibliomania with me.
What is the purpose of this blog? to write about the latest book i read, if not the latest i read, but the latest I enjoyed.
Since coming to the US, and thanks to the public library, the availablity of books has increased. I still read all the time and still read anything and everything from manuals to epics to soppy romances. And have been wanting to archive the same, will do so here and reading suggestions are very very welcome!
so what is a blog? not to get metaphysical..but what is a blog?
today, I read a nice book called the “memoir club” and realised the role of a personal blog is just that, a memoir.
In a diary, you record your very personal momnets, very embarrassing momnets that you may not be ready to share with the world yet..but in a blog, there is a very odd and thrilling mix of one’s public persona and one’s private world, hence the voyeouristic thrill part.
also, its similarity with a memoir. Carefully constructed to reveal enough and yet carefully constructed to hide enough, and your first thought is of the reader (who never comment), yep a memoir it is.
so go bck to your first blog read and see, have you changed? do you even remember when or why you wrote it? how tipsy you were or how depressed or how high on love?
thats why we need these blogs, us of the communication generation, to remember what is needed and yet to forget what we never do.
“just a memory” it never is, if you remember it matters…oh well back to metaphysics:D
here is a picture of the love i was talking about in my last post and now it is all mine!!
and no one can take it away from me!!!
its been a long wait to find my perfect car and with this one it never felt too big (which it is) or too strong (which it is) or too fast (which it is)
and i thought of it as a small car till i got it and my friends saw it and everyone was like..this is huge and im lke…no its just right and people taller than me (mostly everyone) thought they cant handle this baby…but i can 😀
im lovin it!!!
just a quick update
car search is still on..
end of the semester is approaching and I have again suddenly realised that I have a paper due..not just a paper just about 4 full sized reports along with a group project.
That combined with the car, hmm..lots of work
also I fell in love today, more about that later when things come to the point of proposals
and yet another thing
this, my friends, is what I miss about home, the craziness, the pure indianness, driving here I very often dont even notice where the horn is!!
so here it is, I am trying to buy a car.
because I like driving, I like cars, I like bieng able to go places without having to worry too much about how much time it will take me, I also like doing groceries whenever I feel like it..hence a car
Do I have the money..
umm is that even a valid question? I dont 😀
who does have the money? I am a struggling grad student
SO what kind of a car do I buy
isnt that clear, a rundown, extremely ancient piece of junk happens to be all that I could possibly afford and yet friends give me pipe dreams, just keep looking and u’ll find a great deal..
and how do I know when to stop looking? will a bolt from the sky hi my sonn to be preccious? or all my friends will suddenly turn up out of the blue and start applauding?
what is it?
it is so frustrating that I cannot even imagine making the right decision, a decision I will make and then tell myself forever that you dumb ass, couldt you make a better decision, its a car. EITHER that OR people will start calling me up whenever they go look for cars..because i’d probably know it all by then 😀
i already do…
so did I make the right decision when I didnt buy the Subaru? It had three engine oil leaks, fixable but may cause problems later
Or do I go look for the Honda tomorrow and go through this pain again and again?
Or lets see walk to walmart for groceries?
sigh..ok its the honda sighting tomorrow, I heard they are rare 😀
umm its been awhile..
can i claim work as an excuse?
I know, not a very good one.
The truth was, didnt really feel like saying anything, but today I did, so here is my speil
Missed the shuttle to the rec, so was browsing the college bookstore, found a travel book, a hefty traveller’s guide to “India”, got a sudden jolt of curosity to see what they have to say about India, flipped through it to come across “indore” my home. The words “sarvate bus stand” “chotti gwaltoli” and chappan and sarafa jumped out at me and suddenly brought back smells and memories extraordinaire of the one place I can truly call home. Walking through chappan avoiding the calls of “madam, bhelpuri? paani poori? …or trying to drive down the tiny road between apollo and chappan. or eating johhny hot dog “banjo” behind the sabzi thela with maa..icecream in the rain in front of IICHE..long walks with a boyfriend now gone from thoughts, even gurukripa, late night!
shopping with mithu sakshi for shos their mother wouldnt buy them, going out with gautam to see how indore has changed, driving down for the last time from dami’s to home, the road blurred by the tears coming fast and thick.
Do I miss it? NO i dont
Do I want to go back?
then why does it wrench my heart when I hear these names? when I think of these memories their smells and the wind comes out to touch me, the people rise up like ghosts. Pune isnt like that for me, niethr bangalore, maybe manhattan will be who knows
but Indore is Indore, it is where I have belonged, where I can claim my roots, where I can still go back after 7 years and run into school classmates and marvel over what fatheads they have become. …
Indore is magical for me, it has mythical propotions in my mind. It is where I suddenly expect that all my worries will melt away and that “everything is gonna be alright”. Ofcourse that never happens, but it is the most special place for me. Finally come what may, it is home, it is where I belong
A couple of things come to mind..one is AR rehman’s “yeh jo des hai tera”
one particular incidence comes to mind, we were all driving somehwere when I played this song, everyone just shut up, and just listened, you have heard it a billion times, yet still something from that song comes out to touch you to the very core, suddenly making you realize that there is a home, somehwere you mighht not have been happier, but just home.
another thing that comes to mind, is a very obliques reference from the win rd in the willows.
When the mole and the rat are coming back from the woods, the mole suddenly smells his home and then instantaneouly gets upset when the rat doesnt stop. and then when the rat understands they go back to the mole’s old home and the mole says” its isnt much” but I had some good times here”
and later when they are going back the mole takes a look and knows he cannot live there but he needs to come back once in a while just for a while, for however long he lives above the ground, his home is always below the ground with the welcome mat outside his door.
I guess the refernce is not that oblique, so I will not degrade it further (its already paraphrased from when I reread this book about 3 years ago)