I am one of those people who usually come across as either passive/unassertive or aggressive/stubborn. That is because I care a lot about my friends and I usually accept a lot from them. They can say or do anything and yet I wont lose it, they can not say or do anything and yet I would’nt mind. I dont even mind the lack of thought about me, after all I am not the most important persob/ persons in their lives, why should they even bother? The fact that I do is different because every one in my life is equally important to me. I have been known to usually go beyond the call of duty when it comes to OCB’s
BUT to come back to this passive agressive issue, sometimes people just cross a line, a line they dont even know exists and the crossing of which only I know. When they cross it, coming back is very difficult. I dont get mad very easily but when I do and i say something extreme, I stick to it stubbornly. Recently I have sworn not to ride in a particular friend’s car (which would actually make it difficult for me) and not to enter the house of another friend (Which is even more difficult because we have common friends coming over to stay) but then if they understand that I am angry and actually aknowledge the fact that I have the right to be angry, I melt, i am such a sissy I melt. And i am not one of those people who would even go and tell them to their face what I think, I would just avoid the situation and when they find out also I would be extremely nice but firm..now so am I a sissy? passive/agressive or even attention seeker, call me what you will. This is the way I truly am, I refuse to change my stubbornness just because someone may think I am overreacting, but when you call me a friend then also give me the respect and the treatment I deserve.
Treat your friends with the respect that you feel you should be treated with. Sometimes there are people who just withdraw because for them that is easier than confrontations. And if a friend confronts you, feel priveleged because only when they care enough will they confront you and try to clear things. If a friend believes something someone said about you, better to just withdraw, because they never did value the relationship anyways.
well that is probably just my strange thoughtprocess…but I guess it makes clearer that I am soon to become the cat lady with no cats 😀
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